Despite general "we're going after the dream", I am a normal human, not a bogus inspirational speaker for production. While I certainly hope (know?) we will overcome the obstacles ahead, right now it is nose to the ground. I've moved that big a few other times in my life: from Russia to US/NYC, then across the country to Portland, OR, then packed and came to Texas. Each time it was extremely terrifying, no job security, no friends, no clear prospects, nobody to hold hand. While Austin is not particularly dear to our hearts, neither for the weather, nor for absence of the mountains, season, tall trees, small community feel...it is a familiar city we grew to know. We may not have enjoyed or used all it has to offer - not our cup of tea, the music and the eating/drinking scene - but still, it provided for us stability. I am not alone, of course, moving and changing life's path. It doesn't make it easier on anyone, and I am not here to pretend, I am here to express myself. The older we get, the sharper the feelings of uncertainty are. Yet at the same time, deep down, I do know that every time I dug my heels into the Earth for stability and made a change I decided to make, it worked. The path of our life is unknown, the turns we take direct us somewhere we might have not expected. Who knows how it would be if a different angle was explored? Alas, no reason to dwell. The mountains are calling. When the fear rises, I read these words sent to me awhile back:
And my heart whispers back: "You do what it takes, and I do what it takes, and God willing, it will bring us to the path that will lead to happiness, however long and twisted it may be."