A bend in the road is not the end of the road unless you fail to make the turn....

It's gonna get harder before it gets easier. But it will get better, you just gotta make it through the hard stuff first.

Wednesday, August 07, 2013

Social media and life.

I took a break from facebooking. I didn't, like in 2009, shut down my account. I actually managed to simply stop opening the page every 5 minutes, as often as I sit down, and to keep it open when I am working at the desk. And strangely - really is - I didn't die or miss it that much. And the longer I keep the break (5 days? 6?), the less I want to jump in. Funny, since I didn't get any scared emails, I don't think anybody even noticed. Did I miss anything out there? Well, according to Larry (who took his break a month prior that) - not really. The world rotates as it did, the rah-rah is still the same, the groups are exchanging advice, and runners, well, run the races. And just like when I cancelled email subscription to Listserve Ultralist (the GrandDaddy of ultrarunners' emails) and visited it, daily at first, then weekly, then may be twice a month, until finally I realized it's not what it was - for me, doesn't mean much for me, not anymore. Not that running, or ultrarunning, or trails don't - but the list doesn't.

So, the Facebook thing...after 3.5 years of absence, I came back - actually, partially by accident, and partially to keep up with my grown up kids (or sneak on their lives kind of thing). And while I cut my "friends" to bare minimal number to only those whom I know in life AND had have a real conversation about life (not simply "How was your last race?" type of thing, what hurt a lot of folks trying to be-friend me), I was still getting overwhelmed. Yes, I, myself, made poor choices and got sucked in. I do get addicted rather quickly. Part of my side-business is all about being loud and visible. It was nice to support runners and be supported, too. It still is.

But in a meantime, while staying away, I think I am re-learning valuable lessons of "splurging" on all that social media stuff only on occasions. Re-learning on getting back into more "personal" level of support via, at the least, emails, those that can only be seeing by a receiver and a sender, not their 500 friends...meeting with few folks here and there...and thinking so much, it hurts! I'll be back on Facebook, absolutely, there is a value to it - but I will do my best not to be a Facebook wh#$*e. I will do my best to use it wisely.

So much time happened to be freed! It is amazing! And I slowly figure things out for myself, without the pressure of "performing" for others, impressing clients, and having Fear Of Missing Out! And I still love working hard!

I managed to make a decision to pull out of my scheduled 38M night race at the end of August - I suck on rocky twisted trails, and at night the danger of getting injured is grand - I am still not even half-recovered from the hamstring pull at 22 miler I ran 10 days ago. I also made a very difficult choice for me to NOT serve Cactus Rose 50/100M one and only aid station I have had at this "unsupported" race for the last 3 years (and one that runners hit a total of 8 times and which I "ran" practically single-handed). That race falls on a weekend 3 weeks after 2 sleepless nights at Grindstone 100 and 1 week prior 2 sleepless nights at Ozark 100. Sometimes we need to be selfish. This is my time...Besides, as I corresponded with a couple of old-timers, only "vets" will miss me, as my personality, and newbies wouldn't even have a clue - although they could be ticked off for not having aid they heard exists...Oh, well, hopefully they read the race document:)

And so here I am. Some things are changing in life as well. There was a decision made of having Stephen move and live in Portland with his Dad. I am not sure how this will go, but it is final, and it is a very good call for all involved (Stephen, first of all, and then all of us adults). That took a lot of mental and emotional adjustments, regardless that it was basically my push for that - and was the only choice that existed in a state where Stephen was. The workload at my real job is big, or, may be, I am paying more focus to it now that I don't have to be overly worried about my kid(s) (or choose not to go crazy about it would be more proper way) - and I don't Facebook up a storm. Other things are making my life filled to the brim too.

And I train. While my hamstring is doing quite poorly, and I need to heed my own advice, I only backed off for a few days and had completed a weekend's back-to-back and workouts this week so far as well, plus 4 Bikram classes, 1 massage (for myself) and a lot of rolling and stretching. I got plans, but while my brain re-wires to take care of ME, I simply go through the motions of doing what I know how to - train.

I had my favorite nutritionist have a chat with me and scold me for a lot of things too, and that's another thing on my list to take care of. Thanks, Meredith! Sometimes it seems I know a lot, but information for oneself often gets buried, and I need a reminder, a refresher - often new knowledge, and absolutely certainly a kick in a pants.

I am learning to take care of me. For the first time in the last 22 years (and 9 months), I am at least PLANNING to begin thinking of me first.

And to celebrate it, Larry and I are going to visit this weekend our possible dream future, that even carries an awesome name: Loveland, CO. No races, nothing crazy. We are going to dream on...

3 comments:

  1. I totally understand the value of taking a Facebook break. I've been doing the same and it feels great! I didn't realize how wrapped up and addicted to it I was. It's nice to unplug and concentrate again on life happening right around you. I miss you though! Glad to hear everything is going well with your training. I'm sure Stephen moving so far away will be a HUGE adjustment for a while and you'll miss him so much.

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  2. Anonymous7/8/13 16:39

    olga, great trails just behind the hogback in Loveland! also the quadrock trails in lory state park and horsetooth mtn park in ft c. good luck and have a great trip! as always, if you need somewhere to stay SW Denver metro, let me know. :)
    Kristin (Jossi) Zosel

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  3. Facebook can be a time vampire but if used correctly (without addition) it's pretty fun.

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