If you're lucky enough to be in the mountains, you are lucky enough.

When something bad happens, you have three choices: let it define you, let it destroy you, or let it strengthen you.

Thursday, July 05, 2012

Flipping the coin.



I want to be challenged, and not in a way that says "tough it out" - I know I can do that.

I want to feel that I can push the pace at the end of the race, not just "hang in there".

I want to get faster - may be even somewhere close to where I was when I started.

I want to visit new venues for races and actually see the whole course, not only half of it that comes in a daylight.

I want to not be influenced by doing what is expected of me.

I want to train properly, not half-ass it in hot, humid, flat and not very exciting TX (when it comes to new, various and long trails). 

I want to take Larry to many places just to visit.

I want to grow my toenails back.

The sport evolves. So do I. It's been long coming in a process. Leap of faith or a thorough thinking process, but here I am. I'll be training for a BQ marathon and carry it on into 50M races that do not involve an insane amount of rugged terrain and high number of elevation change. I already gotten efficient in those. I had perfected the suffering, it's time to learn the real push. It's got to the point of loosing excitement, and that is a scary thought.

I want to learn how to run long and hard.

These were my thoughts in the last 30 miles of Blackhills 100, the week that followed and on an hour-plus run yesterday, where I got lost and laughed like a child. It was liberating and freeing.

I can make a choice. It is my choice.

I love to run. I love trails. I love to be the best I can possibly be.

It's a new dawn on a horizon.


20 comments:

Anonymous said...

That sounds like my type of running! Well, at least going for the BQ part does. What 50 are you doing that's not technical and hilly? that is the kind of race I would be interested in.

Danni said...

Marathon training is fun I think. You will have no trouble BQing. Go for 3:30 :p

Olga said...

Clea, in general anything along West Coast from SoCA to WA is smooth and pretty runnable. But since I ran most of those, I'd like to try a new state/trail/race. Outlook 50 in TN in December tentatively will be my target for now, although it has plenty of rocks and stuff...Next year, though, I have a handful more choices.

Olga said...

Danni, that's the ultimate plan, but I will have to see how things develop:)

meredith said...

Hopefully you are picking a marathon I am pacing :)

Olga said...

San Antonio? Which one are you at?

Sarah said...

Life would be boring if we always wanted the same thing and never changed directions now and then. Yay for new challenges!

Doc said...

I will enjoy following you on this new phase. I know I have a sub 3:30 marathon in me but I find road running so boring. I don't need to compete, I do trails and recently ultra's to feel alive. There is no better feeling than a dawn run in a green low altitude valley where the oxygen is that thick you could almost drink it. I am literally buzzing all day after doing one. I too will revisit and do a fast marathon but I'm at the start of my ultra journey and believe it will make me a better runner and human being.

Olga said...

This is why I hesitate to put anything on my blog anymore. That someone who doesn't know me would assume that I don't like trails from now on, or dawn over mountains, because I don't want to run a race that takes me over 2 of those sunrises. Oh, well.

Doc said...

Sorry, didn't want to offend. I did say "I will enjoy following you on this new phase". Yours is one of the blogs I visit regularly and I genuinely enjoy reading it. Once a trail runner always a trail runner but I'm sure you'll be the best you can be at running long and hard. I look forward to reading about it. Apologies and good luck.

Olga said...

Accepted:) I really do feel people get divided and when they hear someone trains, they quickly come to defense "but I love the nature and want to enjoy it", like we have to do either/or. We can combine. I never said I won't run trails, or even train on trails. And when I trained for 100's, I trained on roads half the time anyway. What I tried to say is that I got bored with running a 100M race at this point of my life because I am not in capacity to run it the way it deserves. If I simply want to see 2 sunrises, I don't need to pay $250, I can do it alone or with my honey. If I want t run with like-minded friends, I don't have to pin a number, because once I do - it's a race where I would like to do the best I can. There are things that can be mixed and matched and nobody becomes a better person from either running a long race or not. No stigma attached required.

Alicia Hudelson said...

As far as fast 50s, any interest in the Marquette 50 in Michigan on August 18? I'll be doing it for the first time and it looks very runnable, with nice trails and views, and we could certainly use a few more people in the women's race:)

Olga said...

Alicia, will put it on my list, never ran a race in Michigan! Will not be ready for this August in a way I'd like to, and my travel brownie points with family are over limit:( You go and kill it, and have fun at it!

Carilyn said...

I totally understand, Olga! It is so hard to do what it right for you when there are so many expectations. Good for you for seeking new horizons!

RunSueRun said...

OLGA! I am so behind on following blogs and blogging myself, but I wanted to congratulate you on Black Hills. As one who DNF'd at the halfway point last year, I know just HOW good your time was. :) Will you be at Hardly Walk this year? I am working Kroger's Canteen (Virginius Pass).

Hugs, Sue (and the big guy)

Olga said...

Thanks, dear! No, no Hardy, timing is not best. Not sure when will be there next, and with new rules only as help/spectator anyway:) Enjoy the San Juans! Man, those are best mountains ever...Hugs right back at ya and your big guy! Need more info on your Louisiana race.

Julia said...

It's kind of in tune with where I'm at too. This is fun.

Anonymous said...

Almost every day I meet incredible, inspiring, and accomplished runners. And once I get to know them even a little bit do you know what I find myself talking to them about? You. Yup. My friend in Austin, the remarkable Olga. You are kind of a super hero as far as I'm concerned. Good luck with the speed and I look forward to reading about the journey!

Backofpack said...

I love it! I am finding myself at a point in life where I think it is vital to find and follow the paths that bring us joy. Doing the same old thing can lead to a deep rut, changing it up brings new adventures and offers fresh perspective to old ones. At the same time, no need to change it if it is still bringing excitement and joy. Life is complex! I'll have fun watching you chase down and conquer your new goal. Cool!

Steve Pero said...

Olga....just finally getting around to reading blogs I missed while in Silverton. This is a good one, how we think alike!
My hope is for sub 3:30 (or at a minimum, BQ)and I'm aiming at Tuscon in December. It will feel fast, even though 30 years ago I could easily run sub 2:50... Nice guaranteed weather (cool, dry) and downhill. Check it out! If i fail there, may consider running Cowtown in Fort Worth in Feb. as Deb's mom lives near there.
Best of luck, lets trade notes and training secrets...I've already begun my hill repeats on Tues. and first tempo run today (3 miles, build up to many more).