You can't keep me in!

So, my boot got a use of all of 2 days. May be 3. It's in the corner of the closet now, punished for bad behaviour. I tape my leg up - and off I go. While in boot, I felt for all the people who have disability, any kind of it (including obesity). I mean, what kind of life is that? You can't move around where you want to, you can't catch a bus and have to wait for next 20 min in the heat, you can't jump off to pick up the phone...sucks! From Wed first week back I got on stationary bike, 20-30 min a pop. Now, we do have normal bikes, but roads - and trails - are safer without me on them. I can ride straight and up. No downhill, no sharp turns, no stops. Basically, no biking. This is what you get when your parents never buy a bike to a kid, and you learn to pedal at a tender age of I don't remember what. So, stationary...by second week I was ready to kill somebody or be killed. Added on 10 minutes stairmaster and elliptical here and there. tried treadmilling walk (as prescribed by the program for my project anyway, 4% incline, 4 mph) - apparently, this hurts, and more so than bone is the tendon of tibialis anterior. Yoga is strained too - can't flex my foot either direction freely and without pain. But life has gotten better. Who wants to talk about pain? It is practically non-existent! I mean, learn to put mental blocks, people! If you pretend it's not there, then it's not! I mean, unless you are Tony K. with torn apart knee, or Gary R. with re-fracture of foot away. Then, I agree, you better behave and be a good lil' boy. But me? I got nothin'!

By past Friday, just under 2 weeks of this non-sense, I entered severe and out-of-nowhere depression, snarled at Larry and the kids, almost quit my job and - screw it all! - walked home from work yesterday. 6 miles of it. In an hour and half. Not bad, slower than normal, but I'll take it. It was 105F and some, direct son, hot asphalt, crazy cars - and I was smiling! I was born to be outside! I mean, weight training 6 times a week to the point I can't lift my arms to drive home is all nice and stuff, but I can NOT live without moving repetitively and methodically OUTSIDE! So, there, I said it. I am going for a trail hike tomorrow. It's my Father's day gift to me:) If I managed to dream on about my next 3 races to squeeze before the year ends, tomorrow, I am sure, I'll come up with the idea on the rest of next season, a.k.a. year 2012, full steam. That means, break is over, 2 weeks - and I am done. Time to focus.

But for the time now the focus is on weights and diet. Training is going well. Different. I thought I know gym. Apparently, I don't have enough shoulders for the Body Figure thing. Common, where would I get them from, I am narrow on top (and pretty darn wide on the bottom)! It's not the muscle I am missing, but the width? So? We are growing the shoulders. They hurt. Along with them my triceps, delts and traps. Or, and we need to loose about 5% body fat, and all of it from my abdomen. I know I have muscle somewhere deep there, if you dig in. So, we're digging. Differently than I used to. That hurts too. But I can take my shirt off at the gym and not be bashful anymore - and that's on 10 days. The diet part is not bad. I kind of cut the grains anyway for the most part since winter, aside from occasional spoon of brown rice and a starchy potato or yam. What was hard was to eliminate fruits! I mean, fruits are good, right, you reach out for fruits as a healthy snack? Not anymore. I miss my apple, my mango, my orange and my grapefruit...1/2 cup of berries is my allowance. It's ok, all you have to do is just tell yourself:) The shock to the body was so silly, I lost 6 lbs (of water, don't freak out) in 4 days - and that is after I lost 7 pounds that I gained after the race. So, my body got completely dehydrated a mere one week after a 100M effort, and my heart rate shot up. I couldn't get off couch without getting out of breath. So, we re-visited the food intake, figured my metabolism is different from those other folks who hire CPT, and I put 4 round pounds back. I still can see some re-composition of the body though, so I guess the work is happening. Now, does anyone has an extra pair of high heels and a sparkling bathing suit?!

Larry is back to training, and I almost hate him too. He is complaining how bad it is to run outside these days. I feel for him - NOT! He gets to run outside! Just a few more weeks, like, may be 2 or 3, and all bets are off. In fact, when we go to Hardrock camp on July 1st, we are hiking, marking the course, and yes, very possibly pacing too - so I better heal. No questions allowed on that front.

Life has been nuts. Every night is something. Sadly, my "real job" is staled, nothing is working, and my next presentation is August 11th. Like, can I even grow a cell or clone a DNA in this short time, yet along make it in some direction that is expected? So, I am stressed. My "other vocation" is blooming and booming, without my participation (well, so to speak, I do have something to do with it, you know, hands on and stuff). I thought I'd take summer easy, didn't run any promo - and I keep getting booked. I was out every night past week (ok, once I was visiting my girlfriend). I'll be out 3 nights next week (plus taking Stephen to the airport, plus going to the dude who keeps our finances in order). Love 'em, my folks! I may be tired, but I get set up, put my hands on the body - and I heal along with each of them...I had 3 clients before lunch just today - and that was after I had an hour with personal trainer and an hour on cardio torture machine. When is life going to happen? Oh, wait, this IS my life:) I cried myself to sleep last night, telling Larry I want to marry a millionaire and never have to lift my finger again. He said I'd be bored in about a day and half - if I can handle it that long. He is probably right. I feel all better today:)

We managed to get our butts to the ocean and burn our skin for a few hours (we snatched an umbrella for free, yay, and thank God!). I even went to the water, twice, and played with waves, and swam - and I am completely indifferent to water! So, all was good, and I was probably desperate for a real movement, not exercise-machine-induced. Kids loved it, and after all, that's why we did it. So, sometimes we are good parents. Or pretend to be:)

The only thing more important than being good is being real. Authenticity is kinder than resignation without conviction. Truth leads to good faster than good leads to truth. Ultimately truth is good, but you have to live it from the inside out.Alan Cohen
Stop the mindless wishing that things would be different. Rather than wasting time and emotional and spiritual energy in explaining why we don't have what we want, we can start to pursue other ways to get it.
Greg Anderson