A bend in the road is not the end of the road unless you fail to make the turn....

It's gonna get harder before it gets easier. But it will get better, you just gotta make it through the hard stuff first.

Wednesday, April 04, 2012

Ready to go.

I had a great run yesterday evening. There are certain things I do before each race that either give me confidence boost, or tell me where I stand with all honesty. Ken's 6M trail loop is one of those things that I always set out on on Tuesday evening on the week of my race. It was hot and humid (summer in Texas officially began), and the thunderstorms rolled by quickly (with nothing more but a couple of lightning's and a quick pour, as opposed to what Dallas had with flying semi-tracks and demolished houses). We dropped Stephen off at the pool of our previous apartment complex and Larry and I got to the trailhead. Larry wasn't feeling all that spicy, so he settled in behind. Honestly, I am not a big fan running with anybody when I have a purpose for the run, so I tried to either push him ahead or shake him off, but he was grinding two steps behind all the way (besides a couple of downhill stretches). I pushed, and worked, and pumped my arms, and breathed hard, and ran...and was completely and utterly exhausted at the end, while being absolutely satisfied with my effort and the result of it. I am ready for our trip. It's going to be fun!

What was even more fun and satisfying is my older son passing his math class from winter term, signing up for next math and organic chem class for spring term, being grateful for my paying and our every-day conversations. I am on a cloud nine and all those years of worry and practically giving up are being wiped clean with what's happening these days. I wish I could just let you all read all that, but it's not essential. What warms my heart is not only that he goes to school and enjoys studying, but has an urge to text me every day about it, on the way to class, then back, and share, and lean on me, and ask me for help and count on me. My life feels so much more grounded now, I don't think I even realized after all those years what a heavy load was carried in my heart. One step after another, like in an ultra, over mountains and into the valleys...

Larry and I are driving to New Mexico for Cedro Peak 45M race on Thursday night. We haven't run in the same event since last May's PCT50, and this time have no wages going on. We both are coming off injuries (neither one of which is healed), and our best intention is to put best effort towards the race. What comes out of it is in the unknown. We plan to spend an extra day exploring the mountains around - Larry lived in Albuquerque for a year many moons ago. New Mexico was also a state that hosted Jemez 50M, the race we officially had a spark happening (click on the link if you want to be taken down that memory line:)). We have a lot of things to be thankful for. And since we never had an official honeymoon, every time we get to travel together, I call it a honey-weekend make up. I plan to carry on with this for the rest of our lives:)

8 comments:

  1. If you have an hour and a half of driving time to spare, come on up and visit. Follow Rte 550 north to Rte 4 East to MP33.
    See you at Cedro and although you shouldn't have to worry about this, Deb and I are course sweeps. If you want some fun, slow down ;-)

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    1. Nah, that would be way too much time to spare, but I do have hope to see you guys at the CP, but hopefully not too close and personal:) May be on out-n-back section?

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  2. I love reading the positive news about your oldest. So glad he's accepting your help and keeping in touch. It really is a wonderful thing!

    Have a fantastic race and trip!

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    1. Thank you, Sarah. The ultrarunning had helped me to be patient and optimistic that things will change in their own time:)

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  3. Good luck this weekend, Olga! Run strong, be well.

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  4. I am tearing up reading about your son. I'm so happy for you both, and so happy he is enjoying his life and doing so well. You have always been a great mother, and I know how hard it is to watch a child struggle. Thanks for sharing the good news - you just made my day!

    And have a great time this weekend!

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  5. SO happy to hear about your son! That must be one of the greatest gifts of all. Have a great time in NM with Larry and have a great race!!!

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  6. Good Grace on the race...but what I enjoyed most about this blog entry was the part about your son....

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