It feels good to be back.

Lets try to catch up here:) Cactus Rose 100 was awesome, and gave me what I needed the most - my confidence back. Seemed that I have lost it along the way in a last year and half, gave up on myself, and made choices that while never had been excuses, still - allowed me to just trot along. This prickly flower of a race did what it meant to - it reverted me back to where I actually believe in myself and push harder. And that feels nice...

I still can't sit straight, but I can run, and after all, isn't that more important? With that extra excitement from the race hard run I am pushing and loving it. Good...no, great pick-me-upper after a disappointment at Hardrock. And I am not talking about finishing time or whatnot, but rather about my mental state. Here, unlike back 3.5 months ago, a thought about stopping or quitting or sitting down or finding excuse or being pissed or...you name it - never even crossed my mind. And this is a victory on its own, something I am proud of - had been, and hope to be. I am not fast, but I am stupid:)

Taking a week off while dealing with pain was good, and the following week was a jump into a schedule - on drugs, but heck, better than dragging my behind around slowly and telling Larry what to do for his training. Now we can be on the same schedule, and neither gets excuses! Gym weight workouts are back full speed, and so are double-a-day things. It means not only doing morning road runs in the dark, but also evening trail runs - starting when it is still bright, and quickly fading into the dusk and darkness. I found out I love it just as much as doing morning runs and meeting the grayness of the day's beginning. May be it reminds me of running a 100 miler, with day transforming to night, and night back to day...My times on trails during past week had been just a minute off my bests, and I am such a trail-wh%&$. Even when I had one lousy run, I still wouldn't want to be anywhere else:)

Speaking of Larry and his awesome coach-ability: there was a local 5kput on to benefit a friend and an ultrarunner Dano who in the last year was diagnosed with a couple of not-so-good things. The support of the community was absolutely inspirational! And Dano hasn't lost his whit - while I had never met him prior to this run, I heard enough to make an opinion. He didn't disappoint - first thing he said was that I lost my mind...for hooking up with Larry! I had to explain that I was low on carbs and oxygen when I picked him up on the trail:) Sorry, back to Larry - this not-so-spring chicken ran a great time and placed 3rd overall! So very, very proud of him. So very jealous too, because I should have participated instead of hanging on the sidelines! Next time, I promise. Just need to figure out where to squeeze things in...





It actually feel awesome to squeeze things in. Just like old times, back in 2005, when alarm clock goes off at 4:45 am and the wheel never stops turning. I always said: the more you have on the plate, the more you get done - and the better you do that. Getting more focused and organized helps towards lots of goals altogether.

Work is going ok, like riding a bike - haven't done protein biochemistry in 5 years, but besides upgrades in "machinery", nothing changed. Even had some chats with people, although I am a complete introvert - if you don't come to me, I won't approach and talk either (most of you wouldn't have guessed and are probably surprised).

Gail and Bret from Portland stopped by on their way to run San Antonio marathon, yay! Went to have a drink in a bar that claimed to be Soviet - bunch of bull, the poster had 3 mistakes and made no sense. But the chat time was the best! Love these guys, just awesome people, ever since that Thanksgiving dinner 2 years ago, when I just got separated, and sick, and lonely...

That would be it in my Austin world. In Portland world, though, there might be some news. Due to some personal reasons both Mike and I had decided to step down from co-RDing a Hood 100 next year. Frankly, at this point everything is shaky - with ORRC and Forest Service "darling" lady. I am in Austin, Bushwhacker alone...But fear not - RVR and Hal Mr. Koerner himself will be putting a 100 miler in September in Ashland area, so whatever happens with ORRC and their holding on (or not) of Hood 100, ultra-junkies will have a place to live their craziness to the fullest.

On that note - time to get ready for bed, there is that alarm clock threatening to go off in a few hours!