A bend in the road is not the end of the road unless you fail to make the turn....

It's gonna get harder before it gets easier. But it will get better, you just gotta make it through the hard stuff first.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Tuesday, October 3

Thanks to everyone for well wishes. Unfortunately, I just got off the phone with Alex and his counselor, and he was chosen out of seminar today, on his second day.
Now, "chosen out" is a fancy word they use to tell a kid he is not ready for next step yet. He did much better this time (it's his second shot at Focus), but was not very good at giving a feedback. I know it all sounds like a bunch of blabber, but basically at these seminars the Facilitator makes sure to get you uncomfortable, strip you to bare soul and make you seek answers from within, and get accountable for every action and word, and so on. Not just ride on.

Alex sounded very sad, and he was all wrapped in "letting us down". It is sad, indeed, as it just put us all 2 months back on a school schedule, although it is definitely not letting anybody down. The complication is that we want to take him out of school around New Year, what is far ahead of completion of Program, and this set back means he'll be even further behind where we'd (and school) like him to be before his home coming. It is surely not the end of the world. I tried to cheer him on and propose not to dwell on negative and work hard beginning today, not tomorrow (a.k.a. relentless forward motion).

We are meeting Realtor this week to discuss selling the house - for his home coming it is highly recommended (and a common sense) to not bring him back to the same environment. More headaches.

We are also scheduling a marriage counselor appointment in a near future. Here, I said it. At least we are working on it, not sitting on situation waiting for it to resolve itself. Kids are priority, no second thought here.

That been said, if you come visit here for running inspirations, there will be none for awhile. I'll get back to it when the other things move forward, although it doesn't mean I don't do anything or don't miss getting ready for a race or stopped loving running. I am just stepping back with excitement about it, as this is where I am now. I probably will forgo WS application so I can make decisions about 100M next year as it comes, not plan 6 months in advance - I have no idea where I am going to be next week in my life, yet along next year. I will keep my options open and will keep dreaming about running trails no less.

p.s. I do have something running-related. I passed 2600 miles last week, and it is a nice site - last year I was 30 miles short of 2500 for the whole year. So I guess, I am allowed to take time off and get back slowly:)

13 comments:

  1. No worries, Olga. The time you invest now in Alex will last a lifetime. Don't rush him. As you relax and work on other things, our thoughts will be with you and your family, and I hope to see ya around.

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  2. Olga,
    You are making wise and good choices for you and your family. Wes says it very well...

    Keep your spirits up and remember this: many of us have been at very low spots in our marriage, and with our kids too. Not that it really helps, but know that you are not alone in this. Every time you look around you and think "look at them, the perfect family" or "the perfect marriage", it's usually only your perception. We seldom see the complete picture. I know this from personal experience in my own marriage and with my own kids, and I know this from all the years of parenting classes I have taught. I guess I am trying to say - don't bang yourself around too much thinking you have messed up somehow. Remember we all do it - we are all simply human and we struggle every day.

    If your fight for your son and your marriage is half as fierce as your fight to complete a 100 miler, then you will know that you gave it everything you had in you and more. You will have done all you can...and hopefully, it will lead to success.

    I'll be thinking of you, and of your family.

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  3. Olga, please work on your marriage. I know you know what I am going through and I can tell you it sucks. I would love to go back and try marriage counselling now.

    I hate not living with the kids. It's like someone has died. It just sucks.

    So please work on saving your marriage. And let us know how things progress.

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  4. Olga...I'm inspired by your running but even more I'm inspired by the committment you are making to your family. I can only imagine how hard it was to send Alex away, no matter how necessary. And the stress that must be to your whole family.

    I'll be thinking of you and want you to know how much I have appreciated every encouraging word you've left for me!

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  5. Sorry to hear about Alex and I wish you all the best working through all of this. The trails aren't going anywhere.

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  6. So to hear things are working out to plan,but you know what thats what lifes all about planning,adjusting,rearranginging and always trying to move forward.

    Best wishes for you and your family Olga.

    R2B

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  7. I'm so sorry tro hear about all those troubles. You have my deepest sympathy. After growing up in a, well, troubled family myself, I know how important it is for the parents to try and work together. I really hope all works out.

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  8. Sorry to hear about Alex, but hope he starts "today" to get things right. Sounds like you have a lot going on in the moment, hang in there and keep your priorities straight.

    p.s. Fantastic mileage, I just passed 2500 KILOMETERS!

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  9. I hope things work out on all fronts. Best of luck Olga.

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  10. Olga, I like reading your blogging running related or not. Your honesty is why I keep coming back :) I think everyone can benefit from going to a counselor, whether married or not. Whether in crisis or not. It's a good thing! I hope everything works out beyond your expectations for your family.

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  11. ((hugs))

    I'm glad to hear you are working on things. Why are you pulling Alex out before he's ready, if I may ask?

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  12. Hard to make him undestand about time at that age, but as you are doing the right steps you and your family will be out of all of this soon, as soon as time flies, so you can enjoy yourselves more than ever.

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  13. Hang in there. You've got your priorities straight.

    Continued hope and prayers for you and your family.

    [Looks like you've got exactly twice my mileage to date. Impressive.]

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