When something bad happens, you have three choices: let it define you, let it destroy you, or let it strengthen you.
The heart of the difference is not ability or even talent, but desire
The purpose of life is to discover and develop your gift. The meaning of life comes from sharing your gift with others. - David Viscott
Monday, July 10, 2006
Last of WS.
Actually, this post is much related to the trip. I had time to evaluate and make some sense of my run. It's not to say I am not sad anymore - I am. I had trained my hardest this year and expected the performance to mirror it. Unfortunately, things went wrong. The trick about running distance is - things often go wrong, for oh, so many of us. We just have to get up, dust off and do it again. BTW, in the medical study I happend to be in a placebo group, what means my "no soreness on day 2 after the race" is due to been well fit, not to taking quercetin. Nice to know:) I don't know if I be in this shape again, but it was a great fun to get there.
Anyhow, besides lots of thinking I spent quite some time talking to Oleg and to Lisa Smith-Batchen. It helped. It made me think on why I do it. Why? Who for? Often it seems I care too much for what others will think about me. Not just in running. Even putting this post on makes me uncomfortable, like I can't not been honest yet I rather not have too many people to read it. I am always afraid to dissapoint someone. I feel that I give promise and don't deliver. My first two years were blissful - I was running completely for myself, not knowing anybody. There is a reason I like to travel for races far - I can run my own pace, my own power, never a nerve to twitch. There is a negative side in it - I don't get the social part of ultrarunning. How to strike a balance? I need to learn to be blissful under any circumstances. I need to look deep inside and see WHY I started it. How I feel when I train alone. What I say to others. I need to dig it out again. I need to believe my friends will like me no matter what. Not for the finishing time, but for the smile. For the passion. For the ability to push it through and still like it no matter what. I can not loose that "liking it". I will have nothing left. And I think I am going the right direction...
Enjoy the show. It won't happen again for another year, and even that if I get in by lottery!
Dr. Bob Lind - a prominent figure at WS100 since day one. He remembers everybody's name and can tell your story to anyone who is willing to listen. He also is very excited I have a connection with medicine and talks medical reseacrh to me while I try to forget I work at all:)
My second time on pre-race podium (first was in 2004, after Umstead win, and was I scared!). Ronda Sundermeier (left) gets to be there again next year - perfect run. Luanne Park had to stop. Bev Abbs took second for the second year in a raw.
Jorge Pacheco - a great man and a true idol of the sport. Had to endure dehydration and electrolite screw up and stopped at Michigan.
Team Oregon (half). It's a tradition. 16 and half hours to the start...
Robinson Flat, first crew point, mile 30. 7 lbs under and worried but not in disaster mode yet. Gordy behind - the "guy who started it all".
Too fast for the camera at Michigan Bluff! Mile 55, a show-down. Great place to realize how blessed people with other people.
Waiting for the raft at the river crossing, mile 78. I am actually hopeful for the things to get better after some 7 miles of legitimate running.
Green Gate, new pacer Gail. I want to SLEEP!! Mile 80.
Hwy 49, mile 93. I am NOT even pretending to be cheerful. I am all business to have it done and over.
A cruel joke after 98 miles on your feet - a climb to Robie Point.
Finally - a finish line.
Getting THAT buckle. I don't look too bad after a 100 miler, even slow:)
It was a good time. I am glad I did it. And I will do it again and again.