Denial

I think this is the stage of my life I am in right now. I just can’t comprehend that there could be anything wrong with me. Back home I am called “a working horse”. I don’t have problems. I deal with things without anyone knowing that. Of course, there were 5 cases of pneumonia and numerous bronchitis as well as a gazillion of strep throat infections and a staphylococcus intestine infection (requiring 16 days of IV - but I got an easy ride through State Exams in finals at my Med School with teachers visiting with questions!), but something that would puzzle me, have no explanation fitting 100% and require so many tests?

The battle with the pain continues. I went for another doctor appointment, re-did ultrasound and a bunch of blood work, and all cleared up (yep, whatever was floating in my gallbladder couldn’t be found anymore). I am turned out to be anemic, but it has nothing to do with pain. Clinical picture is so typical of gallstone attack, sans the nausea; we don’t know any other options. I did like this new doctor better, at least she was asking lots of questions and talking aloud of any remotely possible diagnosis. I am up for a CT tomorrow.
Interestingly, this woman turned out to be the one who treated my husband a year and half ago in ER, and she remembered me. I liked her then too, as after two other doctors who ran a bunch of high-profile tests, x-ray, US and such couldn’t figure things out; she came up with a fresh medical article. Oleg had just come down from climbing Mt. Rainier (in December 2004), was really dehydrated, and also caught up flu the day of his leaving for a trip. So when he was back, he had a fever, aches and whole nine yards of the flu plus peeing blood. She said it called “marching syndrome”.
Anyway, CT and a follow-up on Friday. Also some pain meds in a meantime (mmm, Vicodin...too bad I can only take it at night). She said she remembered me because there is not that often you get a family of crazy endurance athletes who are also MDs. I guess all Portland ultrarunners have their doctors elsewhere and not at OHSU.

This whole ordeal does bug me. I have 4 weeks left to WS100. This week and 2 following weeks are supposed to be my peak training (including SP50, what is my big training run, that’s all). My body feels great, and it pushes through every workout I come up with without any pain or soreness. Yes, I keep on high quality runs, rain and all (this is for you, hun). Unlike was suggested some time ago, I don’t have any gifts. Anything I ever achieved, running including, is due to my training. I also like it this way. I love running a lot, and no-one can put me on cross-training – hey, I ran through 4 stress fractures and a torn ligament (kids, don’t do it at home). I don’t back off – I have a thing for that, bruised ego or something. I am afraid if I ever succumb to my own complains, I’ll keep making excuses more and more, so I don’t start. I go on. Besides, if I don't, Rob will call me a sissy:)

Speaking of SP50. Last week I finally looked up at the race website and had my usual “OMG, why am I doing it again?” I guess Theresa Schut summed it up nicely (she happened to call that day) – because it’s interesting to see if we can. So, now that I am done with my fears ahead of time (the course goes between 7,000 and 9,200 feet, expect my altitude lungs shut-down report), I can focus on making through, hopefully not in a much more time than 12 hrs. I can’t afford to leave my training on this course, so it will be kind of what Capitol Peak 56 miler was last year 2 weeks prior WS100. Nice and easy, reaffirming the fitness and taking off the pre-race jitters.

Enough boring you with my little problems. I am sure it will get sorted out, somehow things always do.