When something bad happens, you have three choices: let it define you, let it destroy you, or let it strengthen you.
The heart of the difference is not ability or even talent, but desire
The purpose of life is to discover and develop your gift. The meaning of life comes from sharing your gift with others. - David Viscott
Thursday, March 16, 2006
Mental health vs physical
I cross-trained Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, waiting for aches to subside and for a spark to run to come. By Wed afternoon I wanted a run. Easy one, but a run. On trails. So I went to the park and did 1 hr. I actually kept a decent pace, not fast, but ran it all. It was very therapeutic. But - a but I can’t avoid - I had more things hurting than I was ready to admit. I guess I am injured after all, not simply aching sore. Between pain in my shins, foot drop and screaming hamstrings, I added on lower back pain (probably due to trying to ease up on those aforementioned parts). It doesn’t look too bad, but not too good either.
Today I was going for an early run with Gail. We haven’t run together (read - talk freely) for over 2 weeks, and she is going to Australia for another 2 weeks, and then I am going to AR50...It was raining in the morning, and after picking her up I tried to press her to switch to breakfast instead of splashing on trails. She was firm - she needed a run. She said I can go and wait for her, but what’s the purpose? I needed to talk more than run and eat together combined. So on we went. Actually, the rain turned into a drizzle and then stopped altogether (or we didn’t pay attention, or the tree cover saved us). I vented, she listened. She talked, I listened. That’s the meaning of a true friendship - you can always count on an ear to cry to. I almost didn’t feel pains until we finished. It seemed easy, yet we made 8 miles in 80 min on those trails, what is relatively a OK pace. Most importantly - I felt better. Stronger inside. Appreciated. Like a person...
Anyway, this weekend I am going for a Chuckanut 50k. Not to race, basically not even to run, but to see if I can get excited again by watching others doing it. I mean, I will start it and probably even finish, but I will take it according to my body’s feeling, slow, relaxed and trying to enjoy it. I don’t want to risk more than I already have, yet I want to go the distance, see my friends and figure out if I need time off or I’ll be OK. And I need to get away from home for a bit...
After that I am going to stop by Rob’s PacRim and spare some energy for the guy. What kind of food would you like? Burgers? Pizza? Coffee? Cake? I think I am much more excited about this prospect than my own race. I am also planning to volunteer/pace my friend at Capitol peak 50M in April, and looking forward to this too. I am just not mentally ready for this racing season. I was, but not anymore. I am even more psyched about making plans of my next year’s plan to do different runs, but not right now...Hope it will pass. But this is where I am now. And I made peace with that.