Mental health vs physical

Or is it?

I cross-trained Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, waiting for aches to subside and for a spark to run to come. By Wed afternoon I wanted a run. Easy one, but a run. On trails. So I went to the park and did 1 hr. I actually kept a decent pace, not fast, but ran it all. It was very therapeutic. But - a but I can’t avoid - I had more things hurting than I was ready to admit. I guess I am injured after all, not simply aching sore. Between pain in my shins, foot drop and screaming hamstrings, I added on lower back pain (probably due to trying to ease up on those aforementioned parts). It doesn’t look too bad, but not too good either.
Today I was going for an early run with Gail. We haven’t run together (read - talk freely) for over 2 weeks, and she is going to Australia for another 2 weeks, and then I am going to AR50...It was raining in the morning, and after picking her up I tried to press her to switch to breakfast instead of splashing on trails. She was firm - she needed a run. She said I can go and wait for her, but what’s the purpose? I needed to talk more than run and eat together combined. So on we went. Actually, the rain turned into a drizzle and then stopped altogether (or we didn’t pay attention, or the tree cover saved us). I vented, she listened. She talked, I listened. That’s the meaning of a true friendship - you can always count on an ear to cry to. I almost didn’t feel pains until we finished. It seemed easy, yet we made 8 miles in 80 min on those trails, what is relatively a OK pace. Most importantly - I felt better. Stronger inside. Appreciated. Like a person...

Anyway, this weekend I am going for a Chuckanut 50k. Not to race, basically not even to run, but to see if I can get excited again by watching others doing it. I mean, I will start it and probably even finish, but I will take it according to my body’s feeling, slow, relaxed and trying to enjoy it. I don’t want to risk more than I already have, yet I want to go the distance, see my friends and figure out if I need time off or I’ll be OK. And I need to get away from home for a bit...

After that I am going to stop by Rob’s PacRim and spare some energy for the guy. What kind of food would you like? Burgers? Pizza? Coffee? Cake? I think I am much more excited about this prospect than my own race. I am also planning to volunteer/pace my friend at Capitol peak 50M in April, and looking forward to this too. I am just not mentally ready for this racing season. I was, but not anymore. I am even more psyched about making plans of my next year’s plan to do different runs, but not right now...Hope it will pass. But this is where I am now. And I made peace with that.