“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act. It is a habit.” - Will Durant
I always believed it. No matter what happens in life, what physical condition my body is in, what injuries plaque me, or how little-to-none I slept, I get up and stick to my routine. Sometimes it's harder effort and a reason for it, sometimes it's just plugging in some dark slow miles. I don't judge. I just do.
A week or so ago, I sent this text to my girlfriend: "I like building myself stronger. Faster has always been secondary, though I do like it when it happens. Just since summer 2013 fast is a forbidden word. My patience was tested, and I am a better person for that. Even thankful. So if I never run another sub-7 mile in my life (and I probably won't, unless it's flowing down), I am fine. But if I can crack Pike's peak and back a few times a year as I age into sunset years, I'd be happy. I don't forget that I am 51. And I look, feel and perform far better than 99% of ladies half my age. I no longer compare myself to former me, or to those who managed to stay fit from my previous circle. Very few did, by the way, if you think about it. I want to be the best version of myself today." And I can sign up under it, again and again. Being fit is my habit, I guess, for what it's worth. My one thing that keeps paying back depending on the input.
It is helpful to be off social media. I seem to not get tired saying that, even though on a regular day I am not even thinking about it anymore. I used to. When you are removed from the "community" (note the quotation marks), you are removed from your ego. No longer worried about what they might think, you are free to explore what you think. When your environment doesn't mirror, reflect, or define you, then you have no one to be but your true self. And so I do things because I want to, because they are meaningful to me, because they make my life richer.
After that wonderful cross-country skiing two weeks ago, there was little notable to going on, but being a creature of habits and routines, that, too, is great. I ran my runs, did my Incline climbs weekly (and feeling better at that), lifted weights, and worked, worked...Previous Friday my schedule stated 20 mile run, which had to be wrapped quickly as I also had a dentist appointment at noon. So, full moon and super-windy start was ensured for me. It was a bit of a slow going due to that gusty wind on every open turn, and lots of snow, and I also had to change my route, realizing I won't be home in time if I go over the pass I planned, but I put down that 20 like a boss.
Next day we chose to run flat creek trail in town, and I did my 11 miles at the fastest pace somehow for the year. Not sure why that happened, but I'll take it, and reward myself with some good coffee date!
Sunday found us at Monarch, and what a great day it was! Absolutely stunning blue sky, full on sunshine, not a lick of wind, and a good spread out of people that allowed us to barely be in any line and feel alone on the mountain. It was our longest staying skiing this winter season (including December), the snow was just perfect, and we took on pretty much all the routes down (sans a couple we are not even remotely qualified for). That was a confidence booster for sure, some of those were really challenging my comfort zone, but I would just come to the edge, drop off, and figure it out from there (often traversing diagonally and taking my time). That was real fun. What was even more awesome was that I stumbled upon a sign of Colorado trail/CDT that I hiked by just past September during my Collegiate Peaks Loop FKT! Brought warm and fuzzy memories.
The following week was a repeat, with the only difference that now, February into 2021, I had to pick a Friday I would try for another Pikes Peak ascend. The weather outlook wasn't very nice, promising (and delivering) -6F with 35 mph, giving a windchill of -30F. But, the week after we seem to be having even colder front coming. As they say, the devil you know is better than the one you don't know. Gotta at least attempt, and take it from there. I know, I am a little on a crazy side, but, after all, "The Creator has not put desires in our hearts without giving us the ability and the opportunity for realizing them". (Orison Marden)
So, there I was, at 4:40 am, at the parking lot downtown in Manitou, wondering what the heck am I thinking, and wanting to go home and crawl back in bed. Yet, that's exactly what I think every morning, so what else is new? Pretty soon into the Barr trail climb, way before I anticipated, that North wind was kicking so hard, I stopped to put my second windbreaker, hat, and bigger/warmer gloves. That'd be interesting...usually this doesn't happen until above tree line. However, normally an hour in, my mind stops being resentful of all the stuff I push my body to do and settles into simply enjoying the surroundings - and being grateful for being able to do this kind of stuff and appreciate it so much.
Despite frigid wind, it was sunny - at least for a mile once I popped above the tree line after A-frame. Now I "only" (courtesy of Larry) have 3 miles and 2,700 feet to the top, surely I will make it! Spikes on, I was forging forward, and soon entered a deep cloud, with wind getting more fierce and cold.
I, quite literally, couldn't feel my hands, despite wearing ski gloves (mittens would have been a better idea), and my face feels frozen. Besides that, long ago my both water bottles froze - not just nipples, what happened before, but screw tops as well. So here I am, hours into this endurance, with a mere 4 oz water in me since the start, and now I can't eat either, because I can't operate my hands or swallow due to wind into my face. But, the end is near, and at this point, giving up is not an option. Somehow I make it through - and do it full 30 min faster than my ascend part 4 weeks ago.
I read a quote recently, by Andre de Jel, here it is: "It's only a mountain when you're down below, half way up it is just a big hill, before you know it you're on top of the world."
I could only snap 2 photos, barely pressing the phone, and quickly headed back down. The wind kept knocking me off, yet I was trying to swallow my burrito (dry and all) and drag my poles behind, curling my fingers inside the gloves. The only other alive creatures up there in this weather were 2 sets of brown mountain sheep, a twosome and a threesome, and both sets followed me for a bit! Cuteness factor!
To my relief (and just as I expected), once back into tree line, the wind was no longer an issue, and the sun below that high dark cloud was warming me up fast. I trudged a mile still dressed up, then set down and took my clothes off, plus I dug out extra water bottle from the pack, and it was still liquid! I gulped half and took the other half for my nearly 2 hrs descend left (not as much as one should be hydrating, but better than nothing).
What seriously was also different from the Pikes Peak a month ago was that I actually RAN all the downhill! Like, no shit, I ran! What allowed me to take a full 45 min off the last time! And I enjoyed it! I mean, I kept waiting when will I bonk, and I didn't. Go figure, training does work! Putting long runs between those two 26+ miles/8,900 ft of climb Pikes Peak outings brought me a great testament that I am on the right path.
I was thrilled and so happy I gave a shot to this Friday, and now I don't have to think about another Pikes Peak ascend for at least 4, if not 6-7, weeks. I'll just keep putting more long runs in other places!
As it turned out, once I counted, this was my 10th all-time Pikes Peak. Between that, and my all-time 41 Inclines as of this week, I feel like celebrating.
Alas, today, though, I was stiff. Not quite hurting, but surely tired. I got 11 miles with Larry on our staple mountain trails, chased it with Rudy's tacos, and with planned 6 miles tomorrow, am looking at my first 70 miles week (the previous 2 topping at 62 M). Makes me feel like I can. Like I am still alive. Like I can deal with personal shit, some of which had been thrown my way past week, and Gosh, so much more to come...But as they say, we aren't defined by our experiences, we are defined by our responses to them. I can only be accountable for how I react. And I can take care of my self, body, mind and soul, in ways I know work for me and matter to me.
What still excites me, and what I am still (and hope never to) not tired of, is this beautiful place we live in. Frankly, the only human I envy, is myself😋😍
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