When something bad happens, you have three choices: let it define you, let it destroy you, or let it strengthen you.

The heart of the difference is not ability or even talent, but desire

The purpose of life is to discover and develop your gift. The meaning of life comes from sharing your gift with others. - David Viscott

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

November is a Gratitude month...

And I surely am grateful. For my best friend - and a husband - in who's presence I am finally getting to find out who I am, because, in the words of the book I just finished "Wild" by Cheryl Strayed (said by her mom): "I never got to be in a driver's seat of my life. I always did what others wanted me to do. I've always been somebody's daughter, wife, mother. I never got to be just me." I am still a daughter, a mother and a wife - but I am also more "me" than I ever was before. It's what it feels inside, sometimes it's scary, uncomfortable, weird to go for what I want...but I am learning. And I know from outside it seems that I had lived an awesome life so far - and I did! - and had done anything and everything I wanted - but it's not the trips, or the races that count for "who I am", in fact, many of those were also for who "somebody else wanted me to be".

Grateful for my friends who popped up one day with a great get-together, and while my weekend looked like a war zone with all my extra jobs, I did squeeze a visit, and it was awesome. It was a Henry-special, Louisiana Gumbo Night, and the conversations and hugs flew freely.



Grateful for my yoga studio, it's owner, teachers, students - some of whom approach me to talk these days, because, believe it or not, I am having an extremely difficult time starting a conversation, and usually just sit in the corner with my knitting before the class, and then practice in the corner as well...

Grateful for my friends back from OR who didn't forget, who email, call, text, say good things that make me warm and fuzzy...


For the local running community, which I almost abandoned due to my own life - being overwhelmingly busy and somewhat depressed does not provide for good communication skills...


And for finally having some diagnoses coming up, that whole infamous by now adrenal problems having being in the picture, again, but this time assessed by a real endocrinologist. May be I'll finally get to the bottom of it...and may be cutting down some of my responsibilities I keep piling up would be helpful too - and I am looking forward that day, which is coming so close, I can almost touch it, and it makes me smile...

And praying for my dad to have a safe surgery at the end of this week, to come out on the "other side", so I can go visit him and take care of him in December, as planned...

But no, still no exciting running posts to share, yet along racing - those will have to wait until next Spring. However, I did have an experiment on my MAF running: after 3 weeks of running at MAF pace (135 for me) and kind of actually finding it difficult (it feels uncomfortable to keep it constant on even slowest inclines and declines, either too slow or raises my RH), I wore all the gadget for 3 days but wasn't looking at them during the run - and went "easy" by perception. Apparently I averaged exactly 135, was "in the zone" (10 beats window) exactly 85% of the time of the run (as I do when look) and had max HR the same, and so was aver pace. I guess "easy" comes natural?

Last, but not least, for the sudden turn of the weather to be awesomely cold here, in Austin, TX, in the first half of November!

TodayNov 11

Partly Cloudy
55°F
36°F
Partly Cloudy

WedNov 12

Sunny
54°
36°
Sunny

ThuNov 13

Partly Cloudy
49°
35°
Partly Cloudy

FriNov 14

Sunny
53°
41°
Sunny

SatNov 15

Showers
57°
44°
Showers

SunNov 16

AM Clouds / PM Sun
55°
36°
AM Clouds / PM Sun

MonNov 17

Sunny
57°
39°
Sunny

4 comments:

Kirstin C said...

Nothing like good friends. Nothing!
Hoping you find answers and less stress and be done with the adrenal business soon.
HUGS!

Sarah said...

Enjoy the cold! They say it's going to snow here in Portland tomorrow. We'll see.

Glad you're getting an assessment by a better doc. Fingers crossed you get some answers and treatment that helps!

Alicia Hudelson said...

Did you knit that hat that the baby's wearing? That's so cute!

That is a nice list of things to be grateful for:)

Steve Pero said...

Nice post, Olga....congrats on the MAF improvement. It takes time, even we experienced runners, but when it does you will know it! All running will feel easy! Our best to Larry, have a great winter. BTW: 19 degrees here in NH ;-)

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