With all that is happening in ultra-world (or at least in ultra-blogs), and in the lives of the world in general, and in my own personal life, doing just that, a simple run, is best thing ever imagined. I allows me to feel free to express what I think. Most importantly, first and foremost, to myself. Once I figure that out, I go and say it out loud. Sometimes it's scary, extremely so. But the aftermath is amazing. I feel lifted. The burden of pleasing and being afraid is slowly getting shed. I am me. And my running supports me. We're going to be ok...
34 miles last week, might hit 40 this one. Will try to go on trails - uneven footing is still not really my strong suit. 9 miles being my longest run, I feel the loss of endurance. Funny, huh...right now it is hard to picture I am planning to participate in 50M and 100M adventures...but I had never been more patient in my thought process. As the feeling of general tiredness and slight aching comes down upon me somewhere by the end of an hour, I keep my smile on. I turn to the hill, and my pace slows down to practically a halt. I put my head down and plow through, not taking a single official walking step, still with a smile. I am thinking back when my runs were 2 and 3 miles. And then when I did my first "long" one at that, and how it felt. 8 miles was a victory. As it should be.
I can not even pretend to imagine I might be permanently removed from running. It really isn't that important how fast and what place anymore. As long as I give my honest effort on any given day. As long as I am doing it, for me, no-one else to judge it, to care for it. Makes me free. Makes me strong. Makes me simply alive.
2012. Bring it on.
p.s. Worth reading.