When something bad happens, you have three choices: let it define you, let it destroy you, or let it strengthen you.
The heart of the difference is not ability or even talent, but desire
The purpose of life is to discover and develop your gift. The meaning of life comes from sharing your gift with others. - David Viscott
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Back to cool and being cool.
Sometimes we face challenges. Let me rephrase it - all and each of us faces challenges often enough to get tired. Tired of dealing with them, fighting obstacles. We want to just sit back and float along the calm river waters. Sometimes, even though we always know that we'll fall, dust off and move on, we get tired to even think that we'll dust off and move on. Sometimes the question rises: why bother? But we get up, dust off and move on. And routine certainly helps with this...
For the last 9 years my routine included running. It's nice to find time for gym visits, get re-addicted to Bikram yoga, do all kinds of other things. But routine is exactly this - a routine. I think I was somewhat scared that I may not want to ever run again. I mean, I took breaks before, but all of them were enforced upon me - whether by injury (and it never was more than a week break), or once I forced myself into a month off because I was told to do so. I never not wanted to run. I was lost in a search of what is my identity.
It is not that my identity is running. But I need running to keep figuring out what my identity is. To calm my mind. To find peace in my heart. To push through and enjoy it, or to back off and forgive myself.
It was good on a running front this week, somehow, somewhy. After the first couple of days, I joined (just as I had been for the last month, despite my official break off running) Larry for his Wednesday morning hill repeats (you know, so I hear no complains of what I prescribe as a workout, I am there as well, and I don't even need to be!), then ran Thursday to work, and Friday - back home from work. And funny thing happen, going opposite direction, what meant more net uphill and all incline, in the heat of the day at 4pm, happened to be faster. And it also happened to bring joy to work harder and start lans of races to be at next season. It was fun...despite the pain.
The pain...with finding another Bikram (real this time) studio in the area and getting 2 free weeks as a promo, if you know me, meant I squeezed every class out of it (every day, if I could find time, I'd have been there twice a day). It also meant that, while my left hamstring was healing nicely, I managed to push, proving some wacky point to myself, and get a tear in my right hamstring, now smack in the belly of it. At least muscle has more fibers to compensate for work and has more blood supply to keep healing quicker. That's what I tell myself. When did injury stop me before?
So Larry and I went to Bastrop park for a long run today. Haven't been there since October, man...beautiful trails, nice and soft, covered with pine needles and under pretty tall trees. Having weird temperature drop down to below 70F in the whee hours of the morning was an added bonus that made it a paradise! I practically froze on the first 3-4 miles, wearing no shirt. And it felt wonderful running long...Funny how our bodies may loose speed when not training for anything specific, but not the endurance part of it (by the way, my last loop gave me my second best time on this loop ever ran). I made 18 miles today, just like that, out of the blue. I always said, I can give up any runs, but not my long runs. Not the times when all is moving like a well oiled machine, the pace don't matter, stride is easy, breathing in tune...they lough at me at work because I mentioned I don't bother to come out for under 4 miles runs. It takes me that long to have any kind of natural movement, and I don't like having to feel like crap and remembering only this part once home. So I ran, and I smiled...all challenges be gone. At least for that part of the day:)
With 12-13 miles tomorrow we're doing (Larry is in best shape for his upcoming Bear 100 and going extra 5 on that), the week will round up to a nice number 50. This is where I like to be when I am off season:) Lets the real off-season begin...