I am a girl who loves mountains, changing seasons, running, true backpacking, strong coffee, and knitting with high quality yarn.
When something bad happens, you have three choices: let it define you, let it destroy you, or let it strengthen you.
The purpose of life is to discover and develop your gift. The meaning of life comes from sharing your gift with others. - David Viscott
Thursday, November 09, 2006
I am back
It only took five runs to get back to where I belonged. My true self. I am not laboring my run, not forcing myself to put "left foot, right foot", to breathe in and out. I exist.
I had lots of thinking to do, and today, once I submerged into a state of "being", it all came back to me. My body responded. Something I was afarid was lost and forgotten, something I longed so much, something that wasn't happening for a bit. My body responded. Not to the training schedule, not to promises, not weight control. To my spirit. My growing hair flapping, my baby i-Pod blasting...I was running. The way I love, the way I can. I even got lost on the streets of a neighborhood, where I ran and walked hundreds of times - and I enjoyed every moment of it.
Last night, when I came to bed where Oleg was already asleep, he mumbled without opening his eyes: don't you stop running, you are talented, and this is who you are...I couldn't sleep for hours. Not because I think I've got anyhting in "talent", but because, after all, his support and acceptance means a world to me. These were the best words - the only words - he said to me about it, as I am so used to his resistance. It also put things in place - all that matters is Family and their Love. I was floating because of that too. Because I am enough, just the way I am. And together we will overcome anything in the Universe. Because we are enough.
Isn't it scary how my writing depends on my running? I am back to posting, posting from the heart. This is who I am. I am free. I am.