When something bad happens, you have three choices: let it define you, let it destroy you, or let it strengthen you.

The heart of the difference is not ability or even talent, but desire

The purpose of life is to discover and develop your gift. The meaning of life comes from sharing your gift with others. - David Viscott

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Mental health vs physical

Or is it?

I cross-trained Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, waiting for aches to subside and for a spark to run to come. By Wed afternoon I wanted a run. Easy one, but a run. On trails. So I went to the park and did 1 hr. I actually kept a decent pace, not fast, but ran it all. It was very therapeutic. But - a but I can’t avoid - I had more things hurting than I was ready to admit. I guess I am injured after all, not simply aching sore. Between pain in my shins, foot drop and screaming hamstrings, I added on lower back pain (probably due to trying to ease up on those aforementioned parts). It doesn’t look too bad, but not too good either.
Today I was going for an early run with Gail. We haven’t run together (read - talk freely) for over 2 weeks, and she is going to Australia for another 2 weeks, and then I am going to AR50...It was raining in the morning, and after picking her up I tried to press her to switch to breakfast instead of splashing on trails. She was firm - she needed a run. She said I can go and wait for her, but what’s the purpose? I needed to talk more than run and eat together combined. So on we went. Actually, the rain turned into a drizzle and then stopped altogether (or we didn’t pay attention, or the tree cover saved us). I vented, she listened. She talked, I listened. That’s the meaning of a true friendship - you can always count on an ear to cry to. I almost didn’t feel pains until we finished. It seemed easy, yet we made 8 miles in 80 min on those trails, what is relatively a OK pace. Most importantly - I felt better. Stronger inside. Appreciated. Like a person...

Anyway, this weekend I am going for a Chuckanut 50k. Not to race, basically not even to run, but to see if I can get excited again by watching others doing it. I mean, I will start it and probably even finish, but I will take it according to my body’s feeling, slow, relaxed and trying to enjoy it. I don’t want to risk more than I already have, yet I want to go the distance, see my friends and figure out if I need time off or I’ll be OK. And I need to get away from home for a bit...

After that I am going to stop by Rob’s PacRim and spare some energy for the guy. What kind of food would you like? Burgers? Pizza? Coffee? Cake? I think I am much more excited about this prospect than my own race. I am also planning to volunteer/pace my friend at Capitol peak 50M in April, and looking forward to this too. I am just not mentally ready for this racing season. I was, but not anymore. I am even more psyched about making plans of my next year’s plan to do different runs, but not right now...Hope it will pass. But this is where I am now. And I made peace with that.

11 comments:

angie's pink fuzzy said...

I love running with someone - it makes the physical release of running that much sweeter.

Sounds like you are relaxing about the races a little. That must help you feel better.

robtherunner said...

I am sorry to hear that you are having a tough time this season. What happened to us? We both were flying last year and this year the motivation has gone away. I hope to find some joy as well this weekend. I kind of wish I could go to Chuckanut, but this will be a new experience with different people.

Please no burgers. Pizza sounds kind of good though. I already have too much sweet food stockpiled that I hope I will not eat all of it. I look forward to seeing you sometime Saturday.

Lora said...

I have found that I drop down and lull out just before some kind of mental growth. Can't wait to hear where this takes you!!!

craig said...

I hope you have a great race this weekend and that it brings some clarity where running is concered. You are a joy to others and I hope you find a great deal of joy this weekend.

backofpack said...

Olga, life is a series of peaks and valleys (just like an ultra!). You'll make it through and back to the top. Have fun this weekend!

Sarah Elaine said...

Good to have friends like that... They keep the soul strong.

A head's up... I have also developed back problems due to leg and knee injuries so keep listening to your body. I find accupuncture helps the back immensely.

Take care and keep that head held high.

Dirt Runner said...

Have a good race or run depending on how you feel but finish the race. Someday we're all going to have to be at the same race at the same time. Maybe we need to start working on that now. That will get you motivated.

*jeanne* said...

Happy St. Pat's!

*mcjeanne*

Hilda said...

You made peace, that's at least the best part of all.
Sounds like you are not only physically but emotionally stressed, since you could enjoy a nice run with a friend.

Hope that good times are ahead for you and that you enjoy a lot those exciting events.

angie's pink fuzzy said...

Hope you are having fun at Chuckanut!!! Can't wait for the report...

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