La-la-land

or a lesson to run your own race and always trust your body.

There was an article in NYT that one of our runners pointed out attention to - and sent a link to Hill Country list. Even if you don't bother to read it, here is a sum up:

"In a groundbreaking 2003 experiment, scientists at the Georgia Institute of Technology found that 50 minutes of hard running on a treadmill or riding a stationary bicycle significantly increased blood levels of endocannabinoid molecules in a group of college students. The endocannabinoid system was first mapped some years before that, when scientists set out to determine just how cannabis, a k a marijuana, acts upon the body. They found that a widespread group of receptors, clustered in the brain but also found elsewhere in the body, allow the active ingredient in marijuana to bind to the nervous system and set off reactions that reduce pain and anxiety and produce a floaty, free-form sense of well-being. Even more intriguing, the researchers found that with the right stimuli, the body creates its own cannabinoids (the endocannabinoids). These cannabinoids are composed of molecules known as lipids, which are small enough to cross the blood-brain barrier, so cannabinoids found in the blood after exercise could be affecting the brain."

The response was pretty cool. While some can relate, a few of runners (at least of those who responded) don't have a clue on being high front. To me, this paragraph made complete sense. As I say, once an addict is always an addict:) But, in all seriousness, I call it "zen", or running in La-la-land. Don't take me wrong, I get to work when I run, and I breathe hard, and I hurt. However, I wouldn't be doing it if I didn't get "high" off it. To tell you the truth, I get high even from the gym workouts or hard core yoga sessions, but nothing beats running, the repetitive motion of it, the simpleness, the rhythm...



A week before the race I invited Larry and Harrison to join me in North Texas (Stephen flew to Portland for the weekend). To make a change in room accomodation, I called in the rmorning of - and found out the hotel had never gotten my Expedia reservation. 3 hours and numerious phone calls later, we were set - only to start driving after work and discover I left my iPod at my work place. I burst into tears. Of course, nothing is the end of the world, and I ran races music-less, but I planned on it that way, and today I didn't! Larry to the rescue - he said he needs a new shuffle anyway, and pointed out to Best Buy off the road. Since I had my laptop with me, he downloaded the music (we even did some selection while I drove and he combined the playlist) - and I was saved!

I was ready for this race. I was at the weight I like to race at, I had solid fast workouts, I just ran a marathon I was happy with, and I was looking forward to the hills. This race is built as toughest trail race in Texas - and so it was...if only I knew in what way.

I had a goal. I studied the times, and Mariella seem to "own" the race for many years, finishing between 10:30 and 11 hrs. Not to disrespect the girl who raced there over 10 times, I figured I'll go for sub-10. Why not? It's a personal challenge, not a fight. There were usual suspects at the start line, like we never parted from the previous race, and we all laughed - and I was told I am in for the win. I blurted "The win is not how you run, it's about who shows up." I'd rather be happy with my race in a tight field than win in an empty run. Really, my Leona Divide finish last year brings me much more fulfillment than any other local race I had finished up front. And what I definitely don't appreciate, as much as I understand it is done with love and respect, is when folks nod a head in your direction and say "here is our winner". Don't count chicken until the eggs hatched! It's an ultra, and so many things can happen...and I don't deal well with pressure, not at all. Not to mention, again, remember, I am not fast, it's just sometimes nobody who IS comes to run:)

But as I lined up at the front line with Scott and Brian, I tried to crack jokes how others should join us - yest there was a weird gap behind. Didn't make me feel good. And it sent me bolted off the start, running behind these two guys up some gnarly steep hill...and another one. Before I knew it, in 5 minutes flat, I had a metallic taste in my mouth and burning quads filled with lactic acid. What the heck am I doing??!! And where did these hills came from? The "meet the Crosstimbers trail" had begun...



Stolen from other blog



I heard the rumors, but you really never know what hit you when you're at this beautiful Lake Texoma side trail on the border with Oklahoma. Oh, My God! There was no rhythm. The ups and down were super-sharp (I should have believed when reports said "pull yourself up with hands"), the technicality of the trails exceeded any expectations. Roots, roots and more of them. High up, downs as sharp and steep as ups - not to mention the race was made up of one 12.5M trail run out-n-back twice, so you get to experience everything both directions. And it was humid - for now just that. I was throwing salt pills in my mouth like a kid who eats candy after a Halloween. And I was still cramping. Every time I pick a root, jam my foot or step sideways, my calf would go nuts. I was petrified of falling and not being able to get up.





Somewhere half-way through that first "out" section a few guys passed me, and each mentioned "oh, it's not good to get by you". I joked, but I wasn't sure at that time. I kept thinking about that "high", my la-la-land, and I couldn't find it. I pushed, trying to meet my standards, and I wasn't enjoying it much, despite the incredible beauty of the trail - and majestic views of the lakes. I was mad at myself, and couldn't shake it off. I was ready to quit...was I not recovered from a marathon? Was I not trained for the hills on the trails? Should I have NOT run hard 15 trail miles on Saturday before? Is the fact that I was proud of "running every hill on the road" overtook and made me mistakenly run hills here at the beginning? Why did I not listen to my senses and didn't start further back and easier?

All this was going through my head, as in the last mile the trail went through the dense woods with long runnable stretch - and I found it. My zen, my la-la-land. And it all fell in together...

Race photo

Larry and Harrison were waiting for me with crewing duty, filled my bottles and gave me gels for the next 12.5M stretch back. I wanted to share how tough this trail was, but got my own treatment - nobody asked me any questions, never let me open my mouth and I was sent back. So much for love:) I was mad, but I was laughing at the same time. Learned from a champ, he did. Swallow it, sister!

My gate opened up. There were 2 girls right behind, in fact, one passed me shortly after the turn-around, and I told myself: I can only take care of me. There is nothing I can do about other people's race, only about my own. Breathe, eat, drink, and trust your body. Trust that it knows the pace, it is strong, trust your own training, trust that it knows what to do, when to walk, when to run, don't think. Don't think. That's my motto. La-la-land. This is my best running. Let my body do the "thinking" on its own. And I did...

The humidity was high, and my skirt was being pulled down, funny how it was. But I was running strong and smiling. I won't bore you with details. Larry and Harrison met me at 25M, and then at 37.5M. During these times I clicked guys who passed me, one by one, and slowly pulled away from the girls. Larry was mentioning later how AS volunteers were surprised seeing me ahead of many who were running in front at loop 1, and that I looked strongest and happiest. One aid station volunteer actually asked me why am I smiling. Steady. La-la-land. I ran my first split in 2:30, and the next 3 splits were done all in 2:45. Talking about trusting your body! I drunk and ate ice like a maniac, the only thing I used at AS, besides 2 cups of Mt. Dew. I popped salt and gels and downed 2 bottles per 40 minutes easily. My calves finally stopped cramping around mile 35 or so, but they felt sore - so funny, like they were tired of cramping. The sun came up high on 3rd section, and it was hot, but the clouds rolled in on the last one. I could care less about time - I lost my math skills. I was trusting my body to do what it knows how to do. Somewhere with an hour and half to go, I had finally decided to pay attention to the watch - and was able to calculate that 11 hrs was within reach, although I still had to work for it. I could picture Larry saying proudly "Yes, she is like that, never fades. Yes, if I know my wife, she'll go for sub-11 because she likes round numbers. Yes, she will pass everybody she can and will hold them off". I was so happy he was there to share it with me. And work I did. I made myself run every time I could find a place to run. I was working hard - la-la-land and all. I was still sneaking peeks to the lake and dreaming of jumping off the cliff into cool waters. And I was NOT giving up my position!

Harrison came around the corner, and I knew I have one last downhill. "Run" I yelled, and followed his steps. 10:51. I wished to cry - but was laughing instead. I obnoxiously came to break 10 hrs, but instead worked my ass off to go sub-11. I cracked jokes and couldn't stop smiling. Won female race and came 4th overall. I deserved every bit of that fame at the finish line - toughest little trail race in Texas. The Lake Texoma trail at Crosstimbers 50 chewed me up and sput me out - but I held my own. Something to be proud of...

I was crippled and crying in bed last night, and Larry jokingly said "So, why do we do it?". For those 15 minutes of happiness. And for 11 hours of running in La-la-land...

Photo tour - great views!

I am ready for the schedule.

I think I am finally settling in to my crazy new life with practically two jobs and finding a rythm. It's not easy, but I've done it back in NY when I was teaching yoga 4 times a week, so doing massages 3-4 times a week is quite comparable. Of course, that yoga studio was half-way between (real) work and home and only 7 miles away, what meant I could squeeze it in, or run to/from, or take kids with me...and it ain't happening right now. My clients send me all over the place, and I am not running drugging my massage table around! Have you seen this thing? :)) Despite all that hustle - I am loving it. This is a transition time, time when I am committing to following my dream, and that is exciting in its own right. I love doing what I do, and time...well, it's life, right? I am also getting my booty to yoga classes twice a week (and most weeks trying for three) - and seeing the benefits of getting "stretchier"! Slow but steady. The time of jumping and pushing had gone, and I am getting everywhere at my own pace, to ensure I stay there for good.

I am guessing ya'll heard about Rocky Raccoon weekend with records being crashed, elites hanging out, and good times having been had by all. I, personally, had a blast. My boy had run a perfect race, and I am so proud of him! SpeedGoats Beth and Larry are my bestest buddies and we enjoyed each other's company. Joe and Joyce, along with Henry, Diana, Crash, Rob't and Kyle, put on a fantastic event without a glitch. I volunteered to be a "mean yelling one" at the start/finish, sustaining some kind of order there for runners to turn around, and hanging out with a few hundreds of my friends-runners and my friends-volunteers. Got to see lots of folks whom I "left behind" when moved from PNW. Debbie (the perenial volunteer as she crews for her hubby Claud), Erica (Prusaitis' daughter)  and I had a bunch of laughter "checking out the hunks". Yeah, we are like that, keeping spirits alive. I won't bore you with photos of "big names" - who cares, right? they are just people, although they are also quite alright:) Jurek hung out after his training 60M drop and helped out, as always - he misses it in CO where the races are sparse, unlike in PNW, where he always either ran or volunteered at every event on ultra-trails. He is my fav old-school guy, well, along with Hal (why nobody sings him praise for hanging out with Anton practically the whole 100???) and Karl (the dude is ansient and a Mountain Goat, have you seen what kind of race he put on?). Liza turned it on despite GI issues, and boy, the girl can fly! Todd Braje didn't surprise me with his amazing run, and it was neat to see Yassine for a chase. Yeah, I know, all are in owe of Ian's 12:44, but you've heard it all. What I'd like to point out though, if you check out his blog, the dude runs, like, short races and marathons and not much long runs - something I am coming to conclusion many of us may want to focus on. As in, once the base is on and I know I can plow through an ultra in my sleep, get to race in sub-30k distance and learn to be uncomfortable! Yeah, I was faster when I did it this way 8 years ago...I was also younger by 8 years, but it's a minor excuse:)

In the morning I was sorting the drop bags, and people, are you nuts??!! Are you going on vacation for 3 weeks, visitng every state from Alaska to Florida? Did you see sizes of 70% of those drop bags? I talked to Joe, and seriosuly, a bag bigger than a shoe box needs to be turned down. I took a picture of Karl's bag,and the photo doesn't do a justice (nothing was close to compare to), but just think about a simple grocery bag filled half-way and tidy squeezed: 40 gels and 4 Red Bull shots, along with 1 headlamp. Get real, folks! If you are not ready for the task, a huge suitcase will not save your ass! OK, I know, it's mean, and as we get slower than those crazy fast dudes, we do need some warm clothes for the night - but a wind jacket and a long sleeve should suffice, even in 30F in the mountains. So, please rethink your preparation - not only it'll save volunteers' backs (which I threw and now suffer), but it'll cut down your own time at the AS sorting through, not being able to make a decision and wasting time.

OK, I am done preaching. On Sunday Larry and I went for a little hike with the views, and I certainly made lots of fun of him walking gingerly and backwards. But it was a beautiful day...what I forgot to tell you, we had snow in Austin for the second year in a row, and this time it was lots! Friday the whole city shut down (don't laugh, why would they purchase equipment if it happens once in a blue moon?) - and we enjoyed a day off before taking on a road to drive to Huntsville for Rocky weekend. What a spin in a weather! I looked outside the window - it looked like home. I'll take snow in a winter over silly 100+F for 5 months of summer!!! But it's hard to complain right now, as we are blessed here in the months of November-March. I know, locals may disagree, as it's been 20F every morning, but boy, does it feel good and crisp...just dress properly!

And I am training. Yes, with the evenings taken out of my exercise routine (by either massage or yoga), and 2 mornings taken up by weight training (which is going great! I am upping the weight in every way, and adding some of the cross-fit style things, and all of it leaves me super-achy, what I love!), I only run 4-5 times a week (5 on a good week). And that's ok. I do try to throw in a 30-40 minutes of stair-climbing machine when I can, but common, I gotta also cook, clean and spend time with my family! Oh, and I study for yet another exam qualification, and taking CE classes for LMT license. So, today were hill repeats, left me crippled - this week was hard on me:) My plantar is finally healed thanks to Airrosti, and even what turned out to be a heel spur (and no digging could help it) got treated by a cortizon shot. So, I am like new (if only my back stops aching!). All of it, as well as NOT getting into Hardrock (damn lotteries with 5 thousand people applying!) had finally allowed Larry and I to plan the next 6 months of our (active) life.

Here is mine:

February 19 - Crosstimbers 50M, billed as toughest one in TX (of course, relatively speaking)

February 20 - watching Austin marathon from mile 22 AS owned by Hill Country Club
February 27 - CE for LMT (a whole day thing)

March 5 - own an AS at Nueces 25k/50k/50M (bunch of championships at every distance)

March 12-15 - family trip to OK to visit Larry's folks

March 19 - Grasslands 50M north of Dallas somewhere (last TX race I haven't run yet at this distance)

March 26 - taking belay certification at Austin Rock Gym

April 2 - own an AS at Hells Hills 50k/50M (with Texas Slam cancelled, I don't need to run it again)

April 10 - Peterson Rumble 40M in OR (yay, I am going to visit PNW trails and friends and see my son!)

April 16 - practicing those belay techniques at the Rock Gym?
April 23 - Helicopter ride!

May 14 - San Diego PCT 50M (Larry and I going together!!!)

May 27-30 - backpacking trip to Big Bend Park with Larry!

June 11-12 - Old Dominian 100M (yeah, I'll run one, just for kicks, old style)

July 1-10 - backpacking trip to San Juan mountains with Larry, yeah!

I thought I was supposed to find a weekend to run a short race...hmm, I am trying to squeeze it in, I promise! As we come back, I'll start working with a personal trainer for a Figure Competition, which are plenty to pick from in TX in the Fall (I guess, like, who wants to run through summer here? - everybody hides at the gym! Well, I plan to, so I don't explode like last year). What happens later is unknown and not important - it'll be something, for sure. Right now I just need to find a free weekend in a foreseen future to relax and kick back:)

p.s. Just gave a "once-in-3 month" presentation at work. Everybody was impressed, even the Big Boss. I guess I am still hired...and apparently, I have a sense of humor. Really? I guess it gets turned on when I am petrified of public speaking.