"Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive." Howard Thurman



“We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that deep inside us something is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch. Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience that reveals the human spirit.” - e. e. Cummings

"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." M. Scott Peck


“If someone isn’t what others want them to be, the others become angry. Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.” The Alchemist


“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” E. James Rohn

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Spring is here.

Or something like this. Just as the temperature had risen enough for me to suffer and suck air on my trail runs in the late afternoons, it got cold again – Larry claims that Austin has its last “winter front” during a week of school spring break. Either way, the trees are blooming and smelling like crazy. And, of course, with my luck, those 2 tempo runs I had to do this week fell exactly on the afternoons that hit close to 80F. Yeah, I panted. But I hit a PR – on each of the runs.

How’s training been going? I am not sure yet, but I am liking the process. There are a few changes to adapt to. No long runs on the weekends. My longest was today – all of 14 miles – after yesterday’s 12. These are my “weekend doubles”:) This particular change brings on another one – my weekly mileage. Which finally reached a “whole” 54 miles this week! Well, it got to a mile short of 70 the week I ran Nueces 50 miler, but it doesn’t count much. Last week, for example, I had 34M. I don’t remember, truly, last time I had a weekly mileage like this, besides if I just get lazy/too injured after the race (and then it’s simply zero). If I run, I don’t go under 40. I used to be so obsessed with miles. You know, if you train for an ultra, you've got run equal amount in a week idea. I still believe in it - but I also trust my body will remember the long runs once is asked for it.

There is another number I work hard - on not obsessing about. My weight is steadily stuck at 5 lbs above my pre-Rocky Raccoon weight. Which was the same for Bandera and Cactus Rose as well. Basically, I am a "holiday scale" and holding. How is the idea of "speed melts the fat and sheds the pounds" gets proven? Not working here very much. But, again, I breathe in - and don't let it bother me.

There are more “new things”. I don’t have days off. While I had gone for weeks with skipping a day off, in fact, as many as 5 weeks in a row, I don’t plan it this way usually and sometimes it just happens (friends call, I got bored, Stephen is busy and I have to sit wait for him, car broke down and I need to get to work…). Howard has me running every day. Granted, at times I have a very short run – like, a week before last I had a 35 minute run. Easy. So, like, nothing. But, I still needed to set an alarm clock, get up, get dressed, get back, take shower and dash to work. So, no days off it is.

I do have a clearly distinguished easy days and hard days though. I mean, back when I trained with Scott, I had those officially as well, but I tended to turn them all into hard days, and all weeks into hard weeks (oh, the golden days of beginning of it all, when the body and mind withstood everything and anything you’d ask for). Then, when the “training” part fell into an abyss, pretty much all the days became “easy days”, or “we’ll see how it goes” days (and sometimes I could push, but never on the plan, and not often nearly enough). So, now, I get out and say: ah, I have 60 minutes easy, lets go and trot - I don't even wear a watch on those days to ensure not to go after negative splits…Or, I come home from work and grunt: man, 70 minutes with 6x5min speed intervals, crap…But I have to admit, both types of days bring a certain satisfaction, whether because I don’t have to feel guilty for slogging, or because I had done the hard sweaty part and didn’t collapse or didn’t give up.

Yep, I don’t collapse anymore on my intervals. Honestly, I am still keeping the pace at which I started, a.k.a. very slow (truly, too embarrassed to say it), but I am holding it well, and putting usually one or two extra repeats without falling on my face and still alive for a cool-down. Coach said not to speed up yet, nor do I think I am ready mentally – and that is new to me too, not pushing too far too soon.
I keep shaving a minute or two from my regular routes. I think it is not due to any of that speedwork, not yet – but due to being smartly rested. I am also enjoying more time to myself without putting double-a-day (I only do it twice, when the second workout is weight training) or 6 hrs/weekend each day. I may get spoiled:)

With spring break here, and Stephen visiting Portland (yes, I did wish it was me), we escaped to Ouachita trails in Oklahoma. The terrain was surprisingly hilly with long climbs and descends, even if all pretty runnable grade. I loved – LOVED – that forgotten feeling of freedom to fly down like you don’t have a care in the world. This is something I miss the most – just letting go on a downhill…Despite some clouds and rather a touch chilly temps, the views and surroundings made up for it with lots extra. It was a very lovely time.



Saturday, March 06, 2010

Running in Deja Vu.

This week hasn't been good. Not at all. And I am not even interested to give details. Just take my word that the trip south-west of Austin to run a 50 miler wasn't ringing any bells. I did all the prescribed workouts, passed last Swedish massage class test (with 98%), prepared my first presentation for work (highly accepted), we had a pizza dinner with all 3 of my boys - and I was driving on some peach-dark rural roads to this camp Eagle, wondering why am I even doing it.

I arrived at 9 pm, falling asleep on my feet. The park/camp is perfectly set up with a few bunk-housing options right at the start. 12 people per room. Well, I am never, ever bunking again! Everybody talked loudly and milled around (I was holding back till 10 pm, but at 10:15 I simply yelled to shut up, and yes, I didn't even said "please", you know, when in communal housing, have some respect and obey communal rules with lights and noises out past 10pm), then we still had people arriving till midnight, and when finally I shut my eyes - at 2:30am a loud snoring woke me up. I never went back to sleep. When Joe saw me in the morning at packet pick up, he figured I am tired and pissed to no extent. This run was not going the way we want those to go...and I lost my headlamp somewhere in the car. Thankfully, John R. gave his spare to deal with first 40-some minutes of darkness on trails.

When someone emailed the local trail group what's the course is like, Joe responded" think Bandera with ledges and river crossings". This description (it's a first year for the race) and pictures on the website determined my "goal" of sub-11 (Bandera time minus 12 miles minus stomach issues, hopefully). Most importantly - run a controlled effort and figure out fuel for the future. It's a training run. I did check out the field, and as few as there were girls, 3 of them were with significantly faster times very recent, so I relaxed and forgot about all of it.

6 am, and off we went. When the course is 3 identical loops, not much is to say, besides that it was pretty, extremely technical, with over 1/4 of each loop being "a la Charlie Torn (HR100 RD)" cross-country (Joe kinda tried to make new trails, but the effort was futile and too fresh), with barely a flat section. Longest uphill about 1.2 miles (per time), and longest downhill at about the same. The rest - rolls with rocks, rocks and more of that.

My mind, as well as my heart, wasn't in it. I donned my i-Pod and shut out the world. I wasn't my usual chatty self, nor did I smile. I would refill my water in a bottle at each AS and quietly say "thank you" - and take off, all in 20 seconds per stop. I carried all my gels (and some extra dead weight, as it turned out) in a Nathan pack. The idea was - water, a gel every 20 min, a salt capsule every hour, a can of V8 between loops. Repeat.

The weather was perfect for running. Mid-60's and overcast, with some wind on open sections and a few drizzles occasionally. 3 loops allowed for little thinking, and I needed it. I started passing folks at around mile 7...something that has never happened before. I wondered if there was an early start (there wasn't). I checked out how I felt (great, controlled effort, no hard breathing). I shared a few miles with Gordon, the left him behind. I shared a few miles with Steve, and dropped him too. In fact, in a second half I haven't seen a single soul...

What can I say? The weirdest thing was happening on second and third loop, when at every section I kept thinking Deja Vu, like I was on it just a couple of minutes before, not a good 3+ hours. I couldn't shake the feeling. My plan for 11 hrs called for something like 3:20, 3:40 and 4 hr/loop, giving me time to naturally slow down. It wasn't meant to be...

I ran 3:08 first loop. Resupplied (took 3 minutes), ran second loop in 3:22. Resupplied, contemplated not going out again, telling Joyce I don't feel like doing it, but really, body felt awesome, and it was silly to drop without a single excuse. My left ankle was giving me trouble (one of the twisted from RR100), so at mile 39 AS I asked for Advil, which I got. I noticed that my splits are as close as they can be, and figured 10:30 is a given, may be 10:15. For the life of me, I never timed last 4 miles (in various sections), and when arrived to the ledges along the river, couldn't figure out should I fight for 10 or not. So I ran. At last AS I had 15 minutes left - wonder if it's enough? I pushed, but at 12 minutes, still not seeing the camp, gave up and walked a bit. As soon as I did, the gate showed up. I thought to myself if I should bother (there was no real goal, besides, sub-10 was planned for Leona Divide), then I ran.

I crossed the finish line in 9:59, and walked away - to cry a bit, for the emotions held inside, and for my first sub-10 since 2004. Without even planning. Or pushing hard. Controlled effort, that was all there was. Joe opened his arms and said I won...

Now, I don't know what else to say. It was a good lesson. Quite a few of them. One - glad to have stopped experimenting with liquid calories and to stick with gels only. No bloating, no gas, no puking, no gut shut down. Worked like a charm. I don't know if it'll hold for a full 100, but 50 was a bliss - and an easy packing for the future. Two - take salt. Not only it helped my gut (probably, rumor is), the crust all over my face proved I had a big loss of it, and - I wasn't peeing every 5 minutes like a camel! I stopped taking salt a couple of years back (common sense is to take it to prevent cramps, but I don't get cramps), and that's when my bladder issues went nuts. Saved a lot of time today too. Three - run your own race, always. To begin with, I always did just that. Each of us is out there to do our own best on this given day. You can only control what you do. So, that's what you do. Four - don't give up. If you focus, things happen. While I truly wasn't having fun today the way I normally do, and questioned myself of why I even continue, the point is, not every day is the same - or it should be. Some days it's just pure work on details, nothing else, and that's ok too. Five - don't underestimate the benefits of correct rest. The fact that I didn't run a double-long-run the previous weekend played a big role, I believe. And last - get shoes the right size, what for me means a half-size smaller. You know how we keep saying in ultras you need bigger shoe to account for feet swelling. Well, we don't. This pair, as good as Fireblades are to me, is half-size bigger, and I will loose 2 toenails due to downhill bombing and sliding foot forward. It didn't happen at Bandera when I had shoes normal fit.

And lastly - I feel great. No soreness, no pain, no hunger, no dehydration, feet are in perfect condition (thanks to Drymax socks and Fireblades - with the RIGHT insoles if I may add), mild chafing from the bra (the usual - can someone come up with one that doesn't cause the problem without putting a lube on, like Drymax socks operate?), not even sleepy (drove 3 hrs back with no coffee, no food, and no music - I think I was fed up with 10 hrs straight of my tunes).

Check out the course. It is beautiful. I didn't carry a camera, but the website has plenty of shots.
From the recap of a local runner:
As far as the comparison between Bandera and Nueces courses, Nueces is a tougher course for several reasons.
- Nueces has more rocks… just like Joe said… no BS! He also said, quote in Joe’s brutally honest way, “Anyone who wears those little Vibram foot–gloves out here is dumb.” and “Anyone who wears a racing flat out here is dumb.” Robert said “There is a reason they call it "Rocksprings"… as in rocks come out of the ground from nowhere.
- Climbing at Nueces is similar to Bandera only longer. The major climb at Nueces up to Windmill is quite entertaining… a combination of Boyle’s Bump and Ice Cream Hill rolled together. Endlessly long like Boyles but steep and rocky like Ice Cream.
- There are several “springs”… as in rocks come out of the ground from nowhere. At Bandera there are at least several miles of dirt between Chapas and CR, and many places along Three Sisters where the trail is semi-smooth caliche. Nueces is an endless ocean of unavoidable fist-sized jagged limestone and flint EVERYWHERE.
- Climbing at Nueces is similar to Bandera only longer. The Bush-Whacked” miles of new trail on the course bearing the signature of J.P. A few places had me thinking “No sane four-legged animal would’ve chosen this route.”
- The “Mind-Tease” factor. Every aid station along Nueces is situated where you see the aid station. You get within 100 ft, then the course jags left, sending you another few miles. The final station running you 15 feet past a raging party in the Pavilion only to send you back out another 2 miles before you finish.
- Water crossings… Nueces has several. Unless you have legs 4 feet long and willing to skip across small rocks risking a broken ankle, you WILL get your feet wet.


There is NOONE who marks his courses better than Joe. The turn streamers, the confidence markers, and - even the "wrong way" signs...if you get lost, it is totally your own fault. I don't even know how would you get lost on his courses, no excuses. You would have to literally jump over the big red "wrong way" sign. I came 7th overall - no wonder I haven't seen a person in second half. My splits were 3:08, 3:22, 3:27 - can't get much better than that. Next year there planned to be a 100 miler there in conjunction (as a 4x25M loops), and as for 50M - ladies, 9:59 is yours to beat, it's a soft record and won't stay long:) Oh, the benefits of a first year race...

This one is for you, kiddo.